Random Conversation # 1

Girl: How was your night last night?

Me: nothing much, got married a couple of times
Me: i dunno if i'm really serious about the first one

Girl: Ahaha
Girl: So are your wives pretty?

Me: eh, one is cute

Girl: Boo

Girl: That sucks

Me: fine
Me: they're all models

Girl: Ahah
Girl: Much better

Me: As a model i can only date other models- it's the rule
Me: like 5 inches taller than me
Me: i'm a wolf with a pack of giraffes

Me: Now nothing makes sense

Nick Names

I see people all the time changing their name on Facebook.  A common example is when someone replaces their last name with their middle name.

This is very confusing. I hate when I'm scrolling through my friends who are online and then finding that I have people on here that I've never added before. Upon further investigation it is someone I actually do know.

I don't care if you are fat and unattractive, replacing your last name with your middle name may sound more elegant, but it doesn't change your appearance any differently- when you walk into the room, it is still very apparent, that you are not graceful, or able to sit on various surface areas to use as chairs.

I don't care if you're thin, slightly attractive but nevertheless, an unpaid whore. Changing your name may sound more classy, or more respecting, but your habits are still the same, and your reputation isn't going to pull a 360  any time soon. You still smell the same, and that smell is still just as cheap.

If everyone knows you by your middle name or just your last name, then it is ok, for example If i changed my Facebook name to my real name; then a lot of people will be saying "who the frak is this kid?" I'm at the point in my life, where using my real name, will probably confuse everybody...

Eat it, Hogwarts

Stealmybandwidth.com

If you're on a network, you know what it's like to have slow internet speeds every now and then. Most likely caused by your roommate, a sweaty, sweaty man who is constantly downloading movies, or some dude in your apartment who will not stop playing World of Warcraft...

Well that time has come to steal their bandwidth.

www.stealmybandwidth.com

It's a page with one simple button, "Sap it like a Tree, bee" A button that when clicked, will use the maximum amount of bandwidth for really, no apparent reason.

So you want the guy playing WoW to lag and die, pee and cry? Or that dude who doesn't know how to use netflix like a moral human being-  don't you want him to sit there watching his progress bar stand still, slowly making him have to pee more and more before the download completes?

With StealMyBandwidth.com, you can now you use the most amount of internets for really, no apparent reason except to piss someone off. (yeah play on words)

Let's Do it!

Here's a F*cking Sailboat

Microsoft Paint, English Class, 12th grade of high school.
My teacher saw me making this and said it wasn't half bad, therefore I should finish it.

I want more Roller Discos!

Let's be honest, we all went rollerskating at some point in our childhood. We held onto the wall for dear life until later, when we were older, were able to skate fast enough to have a blast... only to get yelled at by some crab-lady with gray hair who wore a referee's uniform.

Skating is fun. Speed in general is just an exciting feeling. We are getting there.. why not get there faster?

So why not drink our asses off, wear awesome clothes, and chase tail around and around in circles for hours on end? I want to listen to music with the same bumping beat that anyone can effing dance too... even if you are on skates.

I don't know about you- but I'm just a boy. The last time i saw a roller disco was in Austin Powers. And let me tell you, that shit looked awesome. Any girl who skates well is bound to be more attractive than the ones holding onto the wall. Let's face it, separating the dance floor has never been easier.

So that is why- I want more Roller Discos!